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  • Writer's pictureBellamy Ryder

Living Happy

Updated: Nov 29, 2023

Being genuinely happy seems to be a challenge as we grow older. Life becomes more "serious". We need to figure out what to do as a career, we need to pay bills, become stable and secure. Society puts a lot of pressure on people by making it seem like we need to have it all together and figured out by a certain age and if we don't we get judged by small minded people.

Let me just say...

That's all bullshit. There are no dead lines in life. You do not have to pick one single career to pursue for the rest of your life, if you want to change direction then do it! You do not have to find the love of your life and get married in your 20's, your true love might come later in life and that's okay! You do not have to go to college right after high school, shit, you don't even have to go at all! Life is a journey and if your not happy on your journey, then life is going to pass you by and you'll end up old filled with regrets. Just being honest.

Sometimes we get so caught up and busy in life with daily routines and responsibilities that we may not even realize that we are unhappy or not as happy as we could be. Now is the time to sit back and ask yourself if you are happy and evaluate how you're really feeling with day to day life and yourself as a person.

My number one rule to being happy

You need to stop (right now) caring what others think about you or how they perceive you. How others perceive you is NOT who you really are, it is simply how THEY see you and this should not matter to you at all.

The only thing that should matter is that you are being your authentic self. Not dimming down your light to make others comfortable or acting a certain way to try to get people to like you. Be yourself and if other people don't like you it's all good! You are not going to be everyones cup of tea.

Pretending to be someone you aren't will most likely lead to an identity crisis and leave you feeling suffocated. Returning back to who you really are can be difficult if you haven't been being true to yourself for a prolonged period of time. The good news is that you can reinvent yourself at any point. do some deep self reflection and start becoming you again! This will be an extremely freeing process and leave you feeling confident and secure with yourself <3

Start asking yourself...

"What do I want" and "what will make me happy". So many times in life we are faced with obligations or we set aside what we truly want to please others. I know you've heard the saying from someone in your life "we all have to do stuff that we don't want to". But, why? Isn't life stressful enough, why add on the misery of doing stuff you don't want or like to do. Like, getting invited to a work event or your second cousins baby shower.

If you dread doing something or it's not a priority then why do it? You are not being selfish for not doing things that you don't want to do! It's time you start putting yourself and your happiness first.

Remove those who don't...

Add happiness or positivity to your life. This can be hard, especially if the person has been a friend of your's for many years or even a family member. We have all had that person in our lives that constantly complains, makes snarky comments, puts you down, can't be happy for you no matter what, doesn't want to see you happy or succeed, and finds the negative in everything. This person needs to go! No matter how hard it may be, it is necessary.

Over the past couple of years I've given up a few friendships due to the above reasons and my life is much better for it. All these people will do is bring you down and suck the energy out of you. Trust me, these people are not for you, they are against you.

To live a positive, happy life you need people who resonate with that.

Follow your own dreams & intuition

When we are young, we are told to reach for the stars and we can do anything we want in life. As adults, we are told to be "realistic". Why is chasing after our wildest dreams not considered being realistic? Simply, it's because of the limiting beliefs that society has put on generations and generations of people. If I had listened to my parents when they told me I needed to work a 9-5 job until the age of 60 I would be absolutely miserable! I terminated all limiting beliefs that society put on me and I followed my own dreams and goals.

Whatever it is that you truly want to do with your life, do it! You are the creator of your life & it is never too late. Think about your old self, would that person feel fulfilled and be proud or full of "what if's".

Be present

This is something that a lot of people struggle with because we live in a fast paced world and our minds are clouded with thoughts of the future, the past, and things we need to get done. Start making an effort to be more present in your day to day life. This means that when you are cooking your focus is totally on cooking. When you're with loved ones, you are living in the moment and enjoying time with them.

Being present and in the moment will bring more joy to your life. You're focused on the beautiful trees and birds chirping instead of your to-do list (it'll still be there so why not enjoy the moment that you are experiencing).This has also been proven to reduce stress and anxiety simply because those two things are caused by overthinking. You're less likely to forget things like, where you put your keys because your being mindful of what you are doing. This is something that takes practice.

Focus on love and gratitude

Often times we get hung up on the things that we don't have. When all you focus on is the lack of something in your life your not appreciating what you do have. There is always something to be grateful for. This requires a mind set shift. Instead of saying "ugh I have to cook dinner" flip that into "I might be tired but I am grateful that I have food to cook and a kitchen to cook in".

Approach everything in life with love and gratitude goggles on. Depression and anxiety cannot exist in a place full of love and gratitude.

I've realized that many people do not reach full happiness and I refuse to become a person full of resentment, regret, and anger. Focus on yourself, and what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Don't be afraid to start being more selfish with your time and energy. Remove all negativity and what no longer serves you. This is your life and it's time to take control!

Wishing you a beautiful day 🌿

Much Love,

Bellamy Ryder


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