Most, if not all of us have some sort of desire to be romanced in this life. To be made felt special, important, cared for, desired, and loved. Each person's definition of romance is a bit different as we each have our own unique desires. Nonetheless, you deserve the exact romance that you long for.
What if I told you that you don’t have to wait for someone else to come along and provide you with this romance, to fulfill your desires, to make you feel special and loved? What if I told you that you could do that all on your own?
Well, that's exactly what I’m telling you.
In the past years I’ve learned how important it is to develop radical self love and to take the action necessary to fulfill your own journey. We have just this one life. Honestly ask yourself if you can imagine waiting around for someone to provide you with the love, care, adventure, fulfillment, and romance you desire?
Sure, it might seem more ideal to have a partner to provide you with your desires and do all of the things you want to do with but what’s stopping us from doing those things for ourselves and with ourselves? Fear of judgment. Fear of seeming lonely. Fear of being uncomfortable. Fear. This is how we’ve been conditioned.
I realized this when a long term relationship of mine ended. It was the big life change that I desperately needed. Something in my life died but with death is always a rebirth. A phoenix rising from the ashes if you will. As painful as the experience was, it was necessary and I will forever be grateful for it. I was shaken awake and realized that I was not fulfilled or happy.
Time is precious. This I know because I see how fast it can pass, how we enter and exit different chapters constantly, how people come and go, how life can change at a drop of a dime. I decided that I will never wait around and rely on someone else to fulfill my desires, to go out and do things with, to be romanced, supported or loved by. I developed a deep desire to do all of this for myself because who better? Who knows me better than I know myself?
Some things I ask myself on a daily basis is: “what would make me feel happy and at peace today?” and “if I was in a relationship what would I want to do today?” and “what is something I can do to make myself feel special and fulfilled?” and “what does my soul need today”. A phrase I use now is I’m going to do this “with myself” as a more positive connotation vs. “by myself”.
This could be anything and everything…
Taking a walk with a herbal tea in a beautiful location
Reading by a pond or in nature
Going to a cute coffee shop, ordering my favorite and hanging out there
Taking daycations and road trips to places I love
Going to a restaurant, having a table to myself and ordering food and drinks
Going to farmers markets
Going to the movies and ordering my favorite snacks
Shopping
Buying myself flowers
Going to a brewery and enjoying a beer
Going to the beach and soaking up the sun
Movie night with popcorn, snacks, and drinks
Wine and cheese night, making myself a charcuterie board
Having an outdoor fire with smore's or a glass of wine
An at home facial
Going out to get a massage or a facial
Joining a yoga class
Apple picking or fruit picking
Having a picnic in the park and dressing cute for it
Taking pictures of literally everything and myself everywhere
Cooking and baking while listening to a podcast or music
Relaxing hot tub nights
Watching the sunset or sunrise
Enjoying my morning coffee outside listening to the birds
Mani and pedi dates at home or at a spa
Going to a bar and grabbing a fancy drink, being safe and aware of your surrounding of course
Journaling, meditation, coloring
Taking a nap or simply just resting
Paint and sip nights
Laying out at night to watch the stars and the moon
Learning and teaching myself subjects I'm passionate about like health and astrology
Taking myself to a concert
Going on a solo vacation
You have the power to do anything and everything for yourself! You can romanticize the shit out of anything and it doesn't always have to cost money. It's all about your mindset. Sometimes all it takes is a switch in perspective. Instead of being in a disempowered, victimhood, co dependent state of: “I have no one to go to the movies with”. Switch that to an empowering statement: “I’m taking myself on a date to the movies because I want to see that movie and love doing things with myself, for myself”.
Being your own best partner and friend is one of the highest forms of self love and the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself.
In embarking on this journey of fulfilling yourself you no longer seek anything external because you know everything you need is within you. You no longer sacrifice your needs and happiness for anyone. You no longer feel a need to stay in relationships or situations that don’t add value, fulfill, or nurture you. You no longer accept anyone that is out of alignment with you as you know you do not need them. You become more conscious, self accepting, independent, and connected. You begin to create an inner world thats nurturing, peaceful and loving.
This is not only a message for the single people out there, this is a message for everyone. Those who are in relationships, married, have children, single, divorced, whatever. We cannot fully rely on anyone else to add the value we need into our own lives. This needs to come from within first. Then the people in our life or a new partner is simply an addition of that happiness and fulfillment that you created for yourself. You are independently responsible for your own happiness.
The saying “love yourself first” is of the highest truth. Part of our journey and soul contract here is to learn how to radically love ourselves unconditionally and to accept ourselves while consciously working on bettering ourselves in every way. This is the journey of creating our happiest, healthiest selves. With this comes so much power, freedom, and liberation.
Love yourself. Romance yourself. Make yourself happy. Fulfill your own desires. Take yourself on dates. Take pictures of everything. Fall in love with your life. Embrace each step of the journey. Embody your power. Become fearless in the pursuit of creating your dream life. Be free. Be picky. Be selfish. Protect your energy. Take action. You deserve this 💕
Wishing you a beautiful day 🌿
Much Love,
Bellamy Ryder