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  • Writer's pictureBellamy Ryder

Self Love & Its Many Forms

Updated: Feb 15

Self love/care is not just about doing face masks and going to get a pedicure. True self love is taking care of every aspect of yourself and your life - mental, physical, emotional, spiritual as well as financial, relational, and environmental. 

It's about loving yourself unconditionally, being gentle and patient with yourself, forgiving yourself, and putting in the behind the scenes work that nobody else sees to better yourself and evolve as a person. It's talking to yourself in a loving way, working through traumas and triggers, and reframing your thoughts to live a happy, positive life. 

It's about taking action in your life, setting boundaries, and doing what's best for you even though it might be the more difficult choice. It's about being your authentic self, letting go of people pleasing tendencies, and moving on from anything and anyone that isn't serving your highest good. Replacing unhealthy habits with nourishing ones and unsupportive people with ones who are truly for you. 

It's about staying safe, being aware of your surroundings, not putting yourself in risky situations, and being extremely selective about who gets access to you and your body. Take precautions, have your own back, and look out for yourself. 

It's about romancing yourself and romanticizing your life, fulfilling yourself, tapping into that feeling that makes everything, even the most ordinary things feel like a sacred ritual you get to experience. It's taking yourself on dates, buying yourself flowers, curling up with a new book and a cup of tea by a candle. Ultimately falling in love with and creating a beautiful relationship with yourself. 

It's about treating your body with the utmost respect, learning to listen to it and honor it. It's feeding yourself beautiful foods from the earth, drinking pure water, getting daily doses of sunshine, reducing your toxic load where you can, managing stress levels, and moving your body. 

It's about keeping a clean living space, spending your money intentionally and responsibly, being mindful of what your consuming when it comes to the world and media, protecting your own peace, saying no, learning how to communicate, prioritizing yourself, being grateful for yourself, proud of yourself, and staying true to yourself. 

So yes, do all of the basic self love things that make you feel good like that face mask and pedicure but know that self love runs so much deeper. Self love is an all day everyday practice. It's the conscious effort you put into yourself, the time you create for yourself, and the ways you stay dedicated to yourself. 

Here are some different ways you can integrate deep self love into your life to enhance your overall health, wellbeing, and quality of life… 

💕 Practicing positive self talk. 

💕 Being kind and gentle with yourself and others - this is proven to boost happiness. 

💕 Wearing your seat belt and driving safely.

💕 Having a healthy morning and night time routine - I have a whole other blog post dedicated to morning routines, you can check it out here…

Morning Routine Magic - Blog Post

💕 Saying no to the things you really do not want to do - say no to people pleasing and spreading yourself too thin.

💕 Learn to recognize when you are feeling stressed and experiencing signs of burnout - trouble sleeping, fatigue, anxiety, irritability, lack of concentration, increased or decreased appetite, feeling on edge, racing thoughts. Practice rituals that help you return to a state of ease. 

💕 Recognizing self destructive behaviors and working on replacing them with healthy habits.

💕 Being yourself unapologetically - do not cater to other people's egos to make them feel more comfortable or make yourself seem more "likable". You are good enough and you don't have to change yourself based on the people around you. If they don’t like you… who the f cares?!

💕 Focus on love and gratitude. This is life changing - when you learn how to look at life with a grateful heart it gets a lot better. 

💕 Fueling your body with nourishing food and drinking quality water. 

💕 Doing the inner work to challenge yourself, grow as a person, heal childhood wounds, gain more confidence and self esteem, destroy self limiting beliefs and self doubts.

💕 Getting exercise at least three times a week - choose to do something you actually enjoy, don't limit yourself! 

💕 Keeping up personal hygiene.

💕 Making high quality sleep a priority.

💕 Getting rid of any toxicity - this could be a job, friend, significant other, even a family member, or some commitment you made that no longer makes you happy. Whatever it is, get rid of it.

💕 Learning that people's thoughts and opinions about you mean absolutely nothing.

💕 Learning to forgive - be it yourself or someone else.

💕 Having the confidence to try new things and get out of your comfort zone - this is the only way we grow and you owe it to yourself to overcome your ego (fear) and go for what you want!

💕 Recognizing when you're being negative and replace it with positivity, gratitude and acceptance. 

💕 Knowing that you deserve people who will love, support, believe in you, and stick by you through thick and thin. 

💕 Making dates with yourself - this could be anything from grabbing a coffee at your favorite cafe, hitting the beach, taking a walk, going to the movies, out to dinner, a picnic in the park, or a whole solo trip. Don't waste time waiting around for others to live life with.


Plus so much more. The thing about self love is that, there are the basics that we all should practice like personal hygiene, wearing our seat belts, and positive self talk. Then, there is the kind of self love that is individualized. Everyone has different needs and things they need to practice and work on. It is up to you to recognize what those things are, make a game plan, and commit to that form of self love.

Self love is how we take care of ourselves inside and out. Begin to embody self love every single day. You deserve and are worthy of love, care, and attention. Do not wait around or look for this in others, I promise you it's not the same. Once you begin to truly love yourself you will attract people who are an extension of that deep, true love. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important and will be a reflection of the ones you accept into your life. 

Love yourself first might sound cliche but it is of the highest truth and the best thing we can learn to do for ourselves. It is the root of creating our happiest, healthiest selves and you deserve nothing less. 

Wishing you a beautiful day 🌿

Much Love,

Bellamy Ryder


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